


Like no tomorrow

by mft



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Fix-It, I never learned how to write actually, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), major character resurrection lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 09:08:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14829413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mft/pseuds/mft
Summary: “I am here,” he urged, lifting his hand to cover Thor’s. “Do I feel like this in your longing dreams? Do I look so half-dead?” he asked. “I should hope not. I didn’t put so much effort into my appearance for millennia for my memory to be tarnished —““Loki,” Thor said, like he was finallygetting it.





	Like no tomorrow

Loki wasn’t unaccustomed to dying. 

That part was perhaps too familiar — even if only ever by association, even if never by true experience, there was some truth to every illusion. 

It was bad enough to be so intimately familiar with death, with faking it and feeling it, but actually experiencing it was far worse; dragging oneself back from any precipice by the fingernails was something that Loki preferred to avoid, and yet there he was. 

He’d tell anyone who asked that the fear of getting turned away at the gates of Valhalla was what gave him the push he needed, but that wasn’t the truth, was it? He knew, just like he always did, that it was Thor and his absurd gravity that just wouldn’t let Loki go. So he was there, somewhere sufficiently opulent on Midgard, finding his way to the rooms where he knew Thor fitfully slept. He knew he was there like he knew the stars in their sky; could feel him, as weak and wounded as he still was from dragging himself back from death and then halfway across the universe. All for Thor. Wouldn’t he be so pleased? So smug that his hold on Loki was great enough to cross stars and galaxies? It would be maddening if Loki weren’t so tired. And he was tired enough that he was almost tempted to forgo any sort of reunion and hole up in some pocket of the universe to recuperate where no one could find him. 

Almost. 

He stood silently over Thor, watching him fret, worried about Loki, no doubt, even as he slept, even as the Loki he knew lay dead somewhere lightyears away. Loki took another breath, unshrouded himself, and Thor, predictably, woke. 

He didn’t notice Loki immediately, and Loki made no move to change that; he simply stood there, tired, regretful, hesitant. But then Thor turned his gaze upon him, and it was so much more than any sun he’d seen; almost too much to bear. He perhaps should have been more surprised that his eye had been restored, but he was frankly more irritated that it was the wrong color. 

“Loki,” Thor breathed, his laugh something — rueful? “I know not why you torment me so.” 

Loki frowned. “Torment —? Perhaps later, but at the moment I don’t think even I am capable,” he said, underwhelmed. 

“Of course not,” Thor said, his smile sad in a way that touched even Loki’s black heart. 

A pause. “You think you’re dreaming,” Loki said, realization dawning on him. He sat on the edge of the bed. “So you dream of me often?” 

“What else would I dream of?” Thor asked, still smiling like that, and reached up to cup Loki’s cheek. 

“And are you always so bold in your dreams?” Loki wondered, even as he leaned into his touch. How he’d missed it — that warmth, unparalleled, the feeling of gold. 

“When I have the opportunity,” Thor said, but he did nothing past touching Loki’s cheek, past gazing at him in wonder. 

“To think,” Loki said, because he was growing too warm, “that you’re losing sleep over me. All I’ve ever wanted, handed to me like this, and yet I’m back to practically grovel at your bedside.” 

Thor laughed. “You are a fool, brother, if you think that I wouldn’t do exactly as you asked. If you had wanted me sleepless a thousand nights, I would have done it. I would tear apart the sun. I would tear apart a thousand if it meant I could have you again.” 

Loki raised an eyebrow. “You tire of the ghost?”

“I tire of myself, only,” Thor said, and for the first time, he looked down. For the first time, too, those broad shoulders looked truly burdened by the weight of nine realms and so much death, and Loki selfishly wondered if he had been some kind of tipping point. If in the face of so much destruction, death, loss, he’d counted. 

“Well, it’s about time,” was all he ended up saying. “Lay back down, would you? I’m exhausted.” 

Thor shook his head. “I don’t want to,” he said. “I can’t — please don’t end this yet.” 

It took a great deal of effort not to roll his eyes. “There is nothing to end, you idiot. I am here before you. Believe me or don’t, I’ve been through too much to care, and I’m tired enough that I may yet be patient regardless. For lack of better options.” 

Thor didn’t look entirely swayed, but his brow furrowed. How unfairly handsome he looked, Loki thought. “I am here,” he urged, lifting his hand to cover Thor’s. “Do I feel like this in your longing dreams? Do I look so half-dead?” he asked. “I should hope not. I didn’t put so much effort into my appearance for millennia for my memory to be tarnished —“ 

“Loki,” Thor said, like he was finally _getting it._

“Yes,” Loki said, his tone well-practiced and bored. 

In one quick motion, Thor stood, his eyes mismatched and disbelieving. And then, before Loki could even really look all the way up at him, he was back down and, worse, pulling Loki into an ironically bone-crushing hug. His arms were like steel around him, so tight that Loki feared and hoped that he may never let go. “Loki,” he said for the second time, and Loki would have hated how desperate and breathless he sounded if he didn’t feel the exact same way. Or maybe he hated it anyway. 

“Do you need me to say it again? Truly? Is your listening comprehension that poor?” Loki asked, but his arms were wrapped around Thor, too.

“Forgive me that I still do not entirely believe it,” Thor said. “I’m afraid to pull away; I’m afraid to see you.” 

Loki snorted. “Do I look so terrible?” 

“Of course not,” Thor said, and pulled back just enough, maybe indulgently, his hand wresting gently on the side of Loki’s neck. He didn’t miss the way he looked at it, with pity and disbelief. It made Loki sneer. 

“Fret not, brother,” he said, batting his hand away, though he succeeded only in getting it to his chest. “I have survived worse.” 

“I thought you dead,” Thor said simply, and Loki couldn’t really argue with that. 

“I very nearly feel guilty,” he said drily, “though, in my defense, this one wasn’t as clearly thought through. Go on, though, regale me of how you mourned and cried for me, let’s get it over with.” 

Thor shook his head, and it took him a long moment to speak. “All I allowed myself to think of was killing Thanos,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically quiet, “and then all that was left was to die, if I succeeded or if I didn’t.” 

“You idiot,” Loki breathed, lifting Thor’s chin with both of his hands. “You _fool._ You didn’t think even to wait for me? What if I had come back to _nothing?_ ” 

“Then you would perhaps know how I have felt too many times now,” Thor said, looking back up at him, smiling just a bit. His eyes were wet and Loki hated it. “This time more than any other. You were all I had left.” 

“I _am_ all you have left,” Loki said, “and you are all that I have.” As much had been true for longer than he cared to admit. 

“So why? Why, then, did you — “ Loki interrupted him with a kiss, because never let it be said that he wasn’t effective. And it was effective, of course. Thor made a noise that Loki might once have characterized as pathetic, and it was almost touching how careful he was with Loki. It would have been touching, anyway, if Loki didn’t want so much more; his greed was undoubtedly more pathetic. 

“Just shut up,” Loki said when they broke apart, his hands still on either side of Thor’s face. “You can overthink things tomorrow. I’m exhausted.”

“Of course,” Thor said, and looked like he was about to start beating himself up again for not having considered that, and so Loki was left with no choice but to kiss him again. Selfless of him, really. 

“So sleep with me, now,” Loki said, “and do whatever you like tomorrow. Including me, maybe. We’ll see.” 

“I’m still not entirely convinced you’re — here,” Thor said, but Loki considered it a victory when he pulled back the covers. 

“You must truly have dreamt of me every night,” Loki said, leaning back and resting his weight on his arm. “How romantic.” 

Thor didn’t even look ashamed, of course. Arrogant fool, so confident in his subconscious. “I did,” he said, standing to give Loki room. “I haven’t slept often, but when I’ve been able to — I see you as soon as I close my eyes. Nothing but you.” 

Loki stood, too, and vainly wasted even more energy shifting his ruined clothes into pristine silk robes. “Have you done my memory justice, at least?” he asked. 

Thor looked worryingly far away for a moment, and Loki was tempted to slap him for daring to be so melodramatic as to dream about his death over and over or something equally martyristic, probably, but he refrained. He got into bed, actually, and moaned at the feel of it, soft and still warm from Thor’s body. “Oh, this is _decent,_ ” he said, barely making room for Thor. Thor, who stood there still, looking at Loki like he might do something pathetic. Loki couldn’t even revel in it. “Come to bed, Thor,” he said, his patience wearing thin. 

Thor nodded, and got into bed beside Loki, hesitant in a way he should never be, in Loki’s opinion, about something so simple as putting his arm around his waist. Loki did roll his eyes then, and pulled Thor close, and they settled in. 

“You’ll be gone when I wake,” Thor said, quieter than usual, less confident. 

“Did you truly believe me dead?” Loki asked. “After all I’ve put you through? I’ve prepared you for this, you know, if you think about it.” 

Thor shook his head. “This was real,” he murmured, reaching out to rest his hand gently on the side of Loki’s neck. “It felt real. I felt — loss. I was nearly blinded by it.” 

“You were nearly blinded by our sister,” Loki said, reaching up to smooth his thumb over Thor’s right eyebrow. Perhaps it was for the best that the eye was the complete wrong color; an attempted imitation would have no doubt fallen just as short, and would have no doubt been more insulting. “And what do you feel now?” 

“That I am dreaming,” Thor said. “That I am lucky even to have a dream so pleasant as this.” 

Loki rolled his eyes again. “Sleep, then. And do not wake me tomorrow morning when you realize that I’m not something your feeble brain has cooked up.”

Thor closed his eyes obediently, which made Loki laugh. Was this all it took? He didn’t sleep, though. He was still too tense under Loki’s hands. “Brother,” Loki said, more urgently, “sleep.” 

“You will be gone when I wake,” Thor said, ever argumentative. 

“And then there again when your head next hits the pillow, apparently. I’m exhausted. Sleep for me, if not for yourself. Fool,” Loki said, and Thor did relax, some, fitting their bodies closer together with an ease they hadn’t had since they were small. 

“I love you,” he said after a moment. “I did not tell you enough.” 

“Then tell me tomorrow,” Loki said, his eyes already closed, his head already tucked under Thor’s chin. He was tired, he could indulge. 

“Tomorrow,” Thor agreed. 

Tomorrow, predictably, came.


End file.
